Home > Sarcasm > Open Letter to Everyday Idiots

Open Letter to Everyday Idiots

Everyday, while driving and even walking around the city, I come across people like you, who think they are God’s gift to humanity. Your arrogant attitude and non sense driving skills has prompted me to write this open letter. Yoo-hoo!! guys, you know who you are and hope you are reading this.I know that deep in your heart you do want to follow traffic rules, but again breaking rules is a matter of pride for you. You still think that being a rebel is in, and have taken it to heart.

The other day, I was in a great mood and was on my way to do some shopping. I was waiting patiently for the signal to turn Green. There were only a few seconds remaining for the light to turn Green, 12,11,10 the seconds ticked away. At that moment, I felt that I was standing at a Derby with restless horses ready to start galloping, the moment the doors are thrown open. I suddenly see you and your friends starting to drive ahead in the incoming traffic just like untamed horses in the wind, and create a traffic jam. Some of you also took pleasure in blowing the car horn at the highest possible decibel to nudge me ahead. For traffic rule follower like me, your horn blast not only shattered my ear drum, but made me literally jump out of my skin. Your disdainful look made me feel like a klutz who has orange jelly in her skull, instead of actual brain matter. Duh! who told you to follow traffic rules, that is for SUCKERS.

Luckily, my Yoga skills came handy, I did a few rounds of ‘Pranayam’ to calm my mind and to get a grip on reality. Thankfully, at the next junction, the signal was Green and I drove on without a care and a song on my lips. Little did I know, a dark blur crossed my path a few inches from my vehicle. I turned my head and saw that another of your brethren has broken the Red signal and had happily scampered to cross the road without a care for the incoming traffic. I quickly turned and followed him to ask him ‘ Kya Meri hi Gadi Mili thi Marne ke liye?’ (Did you want to die in front of my car only?). With a proud look as that of a warrior, you said it is no big deal and that I unnecessarily had my panties in a twist. With rage boiling in my innards, I was ready for a bout, but common sense prevailed and with some belligerent expletives, we parted ways.

Your careless disregard for your own safety is understandable. I understand that it is difficult to process too many things in a Pea sized brain like yours. Even then, I can never understand that how you can put your offspring in harm’s way. I have read, that even Dinosaurs protected their children from any harm. You drive on your scooters, bikes and in your cars with your children and flagrantly ignore signals, stop signs and parking signs. I take all efforts to follow rules whereas you happily make a ‘U’ turn where it is prohibited and all the while your eyes are calling me a ‘LOSER’.

For you, pedestrians are nothing but useless insects, that need to be crushed. In your opinion, people who walk should not have any rights and should be moved to another planet. I would like to enlighten you, that the black and white lines on the road is called a ‘Zebra’ crossing. It is for people to cross the road in relative safety and not for ‘Zebras’ as you had originally thought. So whenever you come across the crossing, please leave it for us poor mortals who use their two feet to go from one place to another. Please park your vehicle a feet behind this crossing and not on it as you have been doing it all along.

I also know that when you visit ‘Phoren’ lands, your eyes marvel at their traffic system. On foreign shores, you become the epitome of a good citizen as you are scared of paying a huge fine. You will not spit, you stop at traffic lights and you will give the right of way to pedestrians. Once you are back on the soil of ‘Bharat Mata’ , you are back to your old ways. You will break rules and think ‘Sab Chalta Hai’ (Who Cares) and ‘Why should I be the only one to follow traffic rules?’. This attitude of yours is what is stopping us from being a better country. Even if, one of you changes because of this letter, I think my work is done.

In the end, Words don’t define idiots, but their actions do.

Yours Sincerely,

A Traffic Rule Follower

Courtesy: Lazy Pineapple

Categories: Sarcasm
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