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Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Wise Revenge

September 5, 2013 Leave a comment

A project manager, his team member, an old woman and her young daughter are traveling in a train and during the course of time get themselves introduced to each other and become temporary friends.

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap. The train comes out of the tunnel.

The woman and the assistant are sitting there looking perplexed. The manager is bending over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

The old woman is thinking: These managers are all crazy after girls. He must have kissed my daughter in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

The young girl is thinking: The manager must have tried to kiss me but kissed my mother instead and got slapped.

The manager is thinking: Damn it. My junior must have kissed the young girl. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

If this train goes through another tunnel i will make another kissing sound and slap my manager again. The idiot keeps harassing me in the office.

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Categories: Humour

Tit for Tat

A guy asked a girl in a library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you?”

The girl answered with a loud voice, “I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOUUU!!!!!”

All of the students in the library started staring at the guy. He was very embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and told him, “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking. Let me guess, you were embarrassed, huh?”

The guy responded with a loud voice, “200 DOLLARS FOR ONE NIGHT?!?!?! THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!”

…and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The guy leaned over and whispered, “I study Law, and I know how to make people look guilty.

Categories: Humour

Remote in Purse

A woman went for shopping. At cash counter she opened her purse to pay.

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud’nt control his curiosity and asked “Do u always carry your TV remote with u?”

She replied ” No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today. Due to his stupid match SO…

The story continues….

The shopkeeper smiles and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.

Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card.

MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Categories: Humour

Gangubai

It happened in a Hospital that ICU patients died in the same bed every Sunday at 11 AM. Doctors thought it is something Super Natural. A Worldwide Expert Team was formed to Investigate the cause.

Next Sunday,few minutes before 11 AM, all Doctors & Nurses stood around that bed, waiting to see the miracle. Then suddenly Gangubai, a part time Sunday sweeper entered the ICU, unplugged the Life Support System of that bed & then plugged her Mobile Charger!!

Categories: Humour

How it Feels?

February 26, 2013 Leave a comment

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

“Careful … CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful … CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”

The wife stared at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”

The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving!

Categories: Humour

How Long?

February 20, 2013 Leave a comment

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks “Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?”

The barber look around the shop and says “about 2 hours,” and the guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks…”how long before I can get a haircut?”

Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says “about 2 hours.” The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks “how long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says “about an hour and a half”. The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says “Hey, Joey, I’ll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes.”

In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says, “this must be good, where did he go when he left here?”

Joey says, “To your house!”

Categories: Humour

The Red Hair

February 10, 2013 Leave a comment

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

‘Doctor,’ the man said,

‘I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine!!’

‘Nonsense,’ the doctor said…

‘Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.’

‘It isn’t possible,’ the man insisted.
‘This can’t be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.’

“Well, said the doctor, “let me ask you this. How often do you have sex???”

The man seemed a bit ashamed..

‘I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.’

‘Well, there you have it!’ The doctor said confidently….

“It’s Rust.” 🙂

Categories: Humour